A major Rosh Yeshivah made a big flap a few years ago about monkeys-parrots-women reading the K'tubah at a wedding.
The reaction was swift but mostly inappropriate. The appropriate action would be to PRIVATELY remonstrate and give hochachah FIRST - before going to the WEB or the PRESS. Without seeking out the allegedly offending individual FIRST, public denunciations are IMHO strictly verboten..
Of course if following private Hochachah, the offender says "af al pi chen" then one indeed may have license to go public...
Furthermore, on discussion lists, chat lists, the same is true.
One Adam Gadol was always kind and considerate to me and would challenge me to clarify OFFLINE prior to getting into any debate. Often he had discovered a typo - such as a missing "NOT" - or an ambiguity and he allowed me to clean up my own mess and to save face. I cannot see how we can we permit less.
Furthermore, when a member of a group does or says something - Denouncing that group as a whole may be odious. EG We now see all Muslims under attack for the acts of Islamo-fascists. And I find entire subsets of Jews being broad-brushed for the acts of a few
Other examples,
• The Rubashkin case does not mean every Hareidi or every Lubavitcher has the same issues.
•. The Baruch Lanner case does not prove that the OU or that NCSY is pervaded by perverts! Broad-brushing is IMHO odious bigotry
Finally schadenfreude - it's simply repugnant. Taking joy in the downfall of others - even the NY Yankees - is anti-Torah values. The ONLY mishnah that says nothing other than a passuq is the Mishnah in Avos quoting Mishlei "binfol oyivcha al tismach.."
Shalom
RRW
2 comments:
The issue is leitzanus, scoffing.
E.g. that rosh yeshiva did NOT compare women to monkeys or parrots, he
(1) used a halachic idiom about the meaninglessness of an act (there is no significance to reading the kesuvah, it's just a way to pause between qiddushin and nissuin),
(2) he implied a contrast -- if even a monkey's antics would be a just-as-valid interruption, how could someone have a problem with this?
But people wanted to take him down a peg, especially when he is an obstruction to the pesaq they want, and thus they'll believe the version they're retold and clarifications are dismissed or ignored.
This is straight leitzanus, the use of sarcastic and cynical emotion to short-circuit a process that should center on rational thought.
-micha
“E.g. that rosh yeshiva did NOT compare women to monkeys or parrots, he”
Indeed that is possible but kinda irrelevant. The point was the statement ideally should have aroused ZERO public scorn until it was verified with the speaker. Also – AIUI - the blogger who quoted the Rosh Yeshiva was someone other the RY himself which behooves the critical public to verify the original statement AND intent The fact that some in the public used this maliciously only exarcebates that lack of etiquette. Even if the allegations were 100% accurate it was still wrong from a Halachic standpoint AFAICT
Shalom
RRW
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