Thursday 15 July 2010

Marrying off one's Daughter

Originally published 7/15/10, 10:30 pm.
Background:
See Companion Mishnayot Masechet Niddah P. 161 citing Rambam Mishnah Torah Hilchot Ishut 3:19 "Ein rauy laasot keinl

Briefly:
The Torah permits a father to marry off his daughter before she achieves Bagrut.
Nevertheless, Hazal advise him not to do so and instead - to let one's daughter mature and let her marry a groom whom she chooses.
Question: Why didn't Hazal simply outlaw this practice and "close this loophole" so to speak?

Without directly answering that question let's go off on a tangent - namely: "Can one somehow be a Naval Birshut HaTorah?" [NBT] This topic was recently and hotly debated on the Avodah list and I think I have found an illustration that had been eluding me
Again - Can one be a Naval Birshut HaTorah? [NBT] It seems by definition - if the Torah allows it - it therefore can't really be "disgusting"
EG because d'racheh darchei no'am....
Now let's try testing a similar dictum, namely
- "Can one be a Naval Birshut HaHalachah?" [NBH] - notice this subtle shift.
I think that a simple resounding yes can be said in THIS case.
Let's see how
EG Let's say a father goes ahead and wantonly ignores Hazal's advice as codified by Rambam and marries off his minor daughter. Is he not an NBH? Yes he is an NBH because Halachah permits it but Hazal warned against it! He IS compliant with Halachah and yet a "Naval" anyway.
OTOH, he cannot be NBT! Because since he is after all outside the pale of Hazal's Aggadic recommendations, he HAS actually transgressed Torah - albeit not Halachah.
This distinction or dichotomy is very useful because the topic is potentially so broad. But with this tool, we can demonstrate that compliance with Shulchan Aruch is not necessarily compliance with Torah.
Thus it appears axiomatic to me that Halachah is a narrower subset of Torah in general.
Exactly, how the Ramban meant NBT remains elusive. But a Naval can indeed comply with the SA. Thus the SA may be a necessary, but an insufficient barometer for being a "Good Jew"
As to WHY Hazal did not ban a practice that they had "censured" I'm not sure of that answer. What can be said with relative certainty is that Halachah itself does leave room for sub-optimum behaviour.

Shalom,
RRW

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